July 16-17: Virginia, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri

Phil ‘n’ Max in Surfin’ the Highway

…and a long trip it’s been, too – not least having to once again traverse the purgatorial wasteland that is Ohio.

Pulling out of Virginia, I found myself reflecting on my Fringe experience. Frustrating, yes, but not just because I lost a few hundred dollars – I’m confident that I’ll be able to earn it back in Minnesota – but because I’m really not sure what else I could have done. I was never able to find the mechanism to let me into the crowd. And though I didn’t have to cancel a show – to date Maximum Verbosity has only ever cancelled once – it was a close thing.

I am, perversely, relieved to see the other touring artists struggling. The question of whether or not this particular show is a failure will have to wait until further down the line. (Although I note, with a grimace, that my brilliant marketing strategy consisted of taking one genre that everybody hates – Arthurian legend – and stapling it to another genre that everybody hates – military drama.)

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There is, apparently, a Green Lantern Road located somewhere in Virginia. This knowledge makes me happy, and I choose to share it with you.

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Stopped for gas part way through Ohio, and stopped into the station to see if they had any CDs for sale (seeing as I’ve burned through The Hobbit, A Wizard of Earthsea, two separate recordings of Le Morte D’Arthur, A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court, Jarhead, and a solid chunk of Dante’s Divine Comedy). They did – two shelves full of country music and Hannah Montana CDs. (I wonder how many of the latter are being picked up by truckers on their way through?) Audiobooks consisted of memoirs by Ollie North and John McCain.

This was in a gas station attached to a Country Pride restaurant. Driving away, I passed two more restaurants with “country” in the title. Then I drove past three dudes on horseback. Man, I assumed I’d have to be at least two states south to start encountering this stuff.

Rifled through my pile of CDs, and contented myself with some bardic tales from the Mabinogion. Listening to them, I found myself reflecting on the tradition of bard and skald – on the fact that there were once storytellers who traveled from place to place, being offered food and lodging in exchange for both their performances – tales of wonder – and their gossip about the bizarre fashions and customs of the various lands that they’d traveled through. Which really isn’t all that different from what the artists on the Fringe circuit do now, I suppose, or the vaudeville entertainers who preceded us. The model’s slightly different, due to the fact that we rely more on a money economy than a barter economy, but the principle is basically the same.

In one respect, that kind of continuity is comforting, with all of the doomsayers who are constantly clamoring that “theatre is dying” – no, it’s not; even if the economy completely tanks, there’ll still be plenty of people struggling to do this for no kind of reward at all. It’s one of the peculiarities of our species: that we have this compulsion to write poems or sing songs or tell jokes.

(Of course, theatre as a viable economic specialization may well be dying, so that’s cold comfort for those of us trying to make this our profession.)

Also found myself listening to the Rockstar CDs (fifteen bucks for a two-CD set! How are people not buying these?) and, aside from experiencing my usual amazement at the fact that I get to work with these people, was particularly impressed, this time around, with Allegra’s piece, and particularly the craftsmanship of it – I see her perform frequently enough that I’ve come to take that for granted. It’s one of her usual meandering road-trip stories, beginning with her cousin’s eulogy and drifting through seemingly unrelated episodes before elegantly tying them back together. Her theme this time? About how the journey is of at least equal importance to the destination.

When I first started planning this trip, I had a number of people express concern, and not without reason – I don’t have a great driving record (God, I fit every awful Asian stereotype on that account), I get panic attacks in traffic, I’m notoriously absent-minded – but even now I find myself regretting the fact that I’ll be flying the second half of this trip. The talk of the romance of the open road isn’t all bullshit, and while many of the trade-offs are painful – the complete lack of economic stability, my poor earning power, the complete accountability for my actions, the dependence on so many factors beyond my control – still. I’m not punching in somewhere at nine o’clock. I don’t have a foreman standing over me. And while it produces a lot of misery, it’s worth remembering that sometimes – liberty can be sweet.

Along the way, I eventually stopped at a station with a slightly wider range of options. Rifling through their bargain bin, I walked out with a collection of old bluegrass hits and – wince – Andrew Lloyd Weber. (I know, I know, I just lost any Fringe cred I might have had, but I need to stay awake, and that means something I can sing along to, and thanks to my sisters I know the lyrics to damn near every Weber song ever written.)

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Stopped at a Long John Silver’s in Missouri. I haven’t eaten there since I was a kid. I’m not a huge fan of fish normally, but I can’t get enough of the stuff if it’s batter-fried. (Does anyone know if there’s one in Minnesota?)

While I was dining, I noticed two sets of teenage couples enter separately, order their food, sit down, and start holding hands. Oh, I thought, isn’t that just precious. Then I realized that they weren’t sharing a gesture of affection: they were saying grace. I’m back in the Bible Belt.